I have highlighted the coursework on the module handbook (coursework 3)

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I have also attached my work which I started and got feedback from the lecturer. The feedback the lecturer gave me is below:

You can write – which is good – but it does enable you to write something which looks good – but has limited content. At the moment it is unclear what your essay is focused on – it starts by describing encryption describes elements of uber and then ends with a sentence on the sharing economy (which uber certainly isn’t anymore and is not the main user of encryption also I do realize there are journalists who still call uber part of the sharing economy but you do need to be using academic sources where that term is considered in more detail). Fundamentally I just don’t understand what your focus is.

With respect to your work, these are my main points:

1) I would suggest you focus on a particular encryption standard – so that you can name it, describe it and analyze it. The website will provide you with information on their standards which would be a good start.

2) To get a good mark you need to use a mixture of sources including academic, commercial, governmental and regulatory, user, etc. Your references currently all appear to be second hand – from journalists and compilers of dictionaries, etc. Please do more research and consider the source, not just the information you use.

3) Your essay is on an `innovation’ and needs to explain how and why that innovation was successful. In your first paragraph, you need to set the timescale from before it was successful to a point in time that you considered to demonstrate success. Please provide that timeframe and the reasoning behind it – the rest of your essay can follow from there.

4) You need to be specific about your innovation. The sharing economy is not a technical innovation – the technical platforms that are used for it could be considered one – but an essay on that would mean moving away from uber (and similar) to a paper on networking process and security – which I don’t think is your strength. Alternatively, the politics behind some activities which would like to be called the sharing economy (or started out that way) would lead you to write a paper which covered the alternative terms of the gig economy or access economy – this could be an interesting political or business paper – but is not one for a School of Computer Science). I, therefore, suggest you focus on an encryption standard and delete all the non-relevant parts on sharing economy, uber, etc

5) You need to get a mark of 45% on this piece of work to get a pass mark for this module. I do not think you can get this mark by just editing what you have done (as the lack of focus makes sections virtually un-markable). If you want a grade higher than a 16 if will require re-working completely on a relevant innovation.

Alternatively, if you want to write an essay on how online platforms supported and enabled the sharing economy via peer to peer networking instead of an essay on encryption you could do it – but it would require more research on networking and on systems which are pure sharing economy (so ignore the disruptive business model platforms). I would not recommend this – as I don’t think you are interested in networking – but if you are please do this.

There is a file in the files attached called ” gill coursework 3 110520.docx” – this is the paper I have done and my tutor said it is all wrong, so ignore this please and just start on something new with a new topic.

The new essay can be on “innovation” and needs to explain how and why that innovation was successful. In the first paragraph, you will need to set the timescale from before it was successful to a point in time that you considered to demonstrate success. So provide that timeframe and the reasoning behind it

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